It's not just a "Girl Problem"
I walked by a flyer yesterday in my college’s Fine Arts Department which made me a little angry. The ad requested the help of artists who were interested in submitting artwork to raise domestic abuse against women, children and families awareness. I know that domestic violence does happen to women and children, but as I pointed out to my old ceramics teacher, it happens to men too (I guess that’s the "family" part). She agreed with me, knowing an old college roommate who abused her own boyfriend. But like many people, she didn’t believe it until she saw it.
Times have changed. Women can no longer be looked at as damsels in distress or innocent beings. We are no longer just the receivers of abuse. We can be the givers of it too. It’s the dirty little secret a lot of women’s groups don’t want you to know and refuse to acknowledge. Women today are just as likely as their male counterparts to abuse their significant others. Having trouble believing some women abuse their men? Here are 123 documented cases. But of course that’s only 123. How can such a percieved petite damsel abuse a strong, towering man? While most men use their hands to abuse, women use guns, knives and other weaponry among other things.
It’s not a "new phenomenon." Some women did not just wake a week ago and say, "hey, I’m going to abuse my man today." It’s been happening for years. Just like a lot of women, a lot of men do not report abuse by the hands of their significant other. Some men feel ashamed and others feel that they will not be taken seriously if they do report the abuse. Some abused men stay in abusive relationships for the same reasons some abused women stay. They think that one day their abusers will have a change of heart and stop. Others because they don’t want to leave their children with an abusive parent. At least if a woman wants to leave she has a plethora of shelters to go to. Men have very limited if at all choices, many shelters that house abused women rejecting them because they are the "enemy".
Domestic violence laws (and acts such as the Violence Against Women Act or VAWA) paint all men as abusers and all women as abused. But both men and women can be abusers and both men and women can be the abused. It’s not always a man (and it has never been always a man) who raises his hand to a fearful woman. The opposite is true too. Men can be abused. It’s not a laughing matter and it is not something to overlook just because it isn’t "popular thought". Abused men need laws and acts passed on their behalf too. They need people and establishments to go to who take them seriously.
Last October, my pastor handed out purple ribbons for the congregation to wear. Along with a lot of other things, October is "Domestic Violence Awareness Month." While many people wore their ribbons for the women and children victims of domestic violence, I wore it not for the women victims or the child victims, but for the men victims.
It’s time to uncover our ears, our mouths and our eyes. It’s not just a "Girl Problem".
Links worth mention:
http://www.batteredmen.com/index.htm
http://www.dvmen.org
http://www.safe4all.org
http://www.batteredmenshelpline.org
Times have changed. Women can no longer be looked at as damsels in distress or innocent beings. We are no longer just the receivers of abuse. We can be the givers of it too. It’s the dirty little secret a lot of women’s groups don’t want you to know and refuse to acknowledge. Women today are just as likely as their male counterparts to abuse their significant others. Having trouble believing some women abuse their men? Here are 123 documented cases. But of course that’s only 123. How can such a percieved petite damsel abuse a strong, towering man? While most men use their hands to abuse, women use guns, knives and other weaponry among other things.
It’s not a "new phenomenon." Some women did not just wake a week ago and say, "hey, I’m going to abuse my man today." It’s been happening for years. Just like a lot of women, a lot of men do not report abuse by the hands of their significant other. Some men feel ashamed and others feel that they will not be taken seriously if they do report the abuse. Some abused men stay in abusive relationships for the same reasons some abused women stay. They think that one day their abusers will have a change of heart and stop. Others because they don’t want to leave their children with an abusive parent. At least if a woman wants to leave she has a plethora of shelters to go to. Men have very limited if at all choices, many shelters that house abused women rejecting them because they are the "enemy".
Domestic violence laws (and acts such as the Violence Against Women Act or VAWA) paint all men as abusers and all women as abused. But both men and women can be abusers and both men and women can be the abused. It’s not always a man (and it has never been always a man) who raises his hand to a fearful woman. The opposite is true too. Men can be abused. It’s not a laughing matter and it is not something to overlook just because it isn’t "popular thought". Abused men need laws and acts passed on their behalf too. They need people and establishments to go to who take them seriously.
Last October, my pastor handed out purple ribbons for the congregation to wear. Along with a lot of other things, October is "Domestic Violence Awareness Month." While many people wore their ribbons for the women and children victims of domestic violence, I wore it not for the women victims or the child victims, but for the men victims.
It’s time to uncover our ears, our mouths and our eyes. It’s not just a "Girl Problem".
Links worth mention:
http://www.batteredmen.com/index.htm
http://www.dvmen.org
http://www.safe4all.org
http://www.batteredmenshelpline.org
posted by BananaBlack at 8:48 PM
2 Comments:
THX for that!
I've got a piece here:
http://desertlightjournal.blog-city.com/read/1118975.htm
which has gotten a lot of response.
With more bloggers like you, someday we might see equal access for all!
as true as your observations may be, it's sounds a bit like equivocation to me.
the scale of one problem when viewed with the other makes domestic violence performed by men against women a much more pertinent issue, in terms of directing energies and resources.
though any domestic violence is reprehensible, the attempt to highlight female violence against males at the expense of our more conventional concept of the problem is misguided.
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